Category Archives: Video
President Barack Obama held a basketball clinic at the White House on Easter Sunday featuring Washington Wizards John Wall, Nene, Emeka Okafor, and Bradley Beal. I’m sure the event went smoothly, that is, until Obama decided to show off his lefty stroke and let everyone know, “I’ve gotta hit one shot before I go.”
As the bystander filming this fiasco so eloquently puts it multiple times: brick house. You could stimulate the economy and eliminate the housing crisis with all of of those bricks (does this joke even make sense?). Embarrassed to watch their POTUS shoot worse than Dick Cheney with a rifle in the forest, the Wizards chimed in:
“He missed a lot in a row. We told him move in a little bit. Then he ended up missing a layup and it got out of control,” Beal said. “He has a few excuses he could use. I think he was warming up to at least sprinkle one in. I don’t know.”
Not only did he miss the layup, but he missed the rim on the layup. So I guess you could say things got out of control. Our country is in shambles, Obama can’t hit the rim on a layup.
“I told him ‘I’m on a hot stretch this month,’ ” Wall said. “I said you was shooting like I was shooting the first month I came back. He kept saying I’m going to leave for like five minutes, 10 minutes. He didn’t leave until he made one.”
Things are going horribly, horribly wrong when John Wall is critiquing you on your jump shot.
Nene and Okafor, the seasoned veterans, were more diplomatic in their assessment of the president’s errant shooting. “People get nervous in that moment, because it was a lot of pressure,” Nene said, “but the message is, never quit. Never quit. He made the last shot. Took a while, but he made the shot.”
Never quit, guys. When you’re currently shooting 0 for 17 with nobody guarding you in front of hundreds of little kids and popular NBA players, just never quit.
Okafor, who stood calmly with his arm behind his back, cut the president some slack based on his wardrobe and weather. “He missed more than he made, but it was cold,” Okafor said. “He had some casual shoes on, a long sleeve shirt and some khakis, so he wasn’t really in his proper attire to get in game mode.”
Cold weather, long sleeve shirt, khakis…all very viable excuses for nearly airballing a layup. Why do you think NBA games are indoors? Cold weather. Why do you think NBA players wear jerseys? So they don’t have to wear long sleeve shirts. Why do NBA players wear shorts? So they don’t have to wear khakis. It’s all starting to make sense now.
(via Washington Post)
Jeremy Evans seems like a good dude. Maybe I’m just empathetic towards him because I appreciate his ability to paint still lifes, landscapes and portraits (and jump over them) or for the braces he was rocking during the 2012 dunk contest. But unfortunately for Evans, he faces the unfortunate fate of attempting to avoid the same obscurity that has claimed other notable high-flyers from weak dunk contests of the past like Fred Jones and Jamario Moon. So when I see Evans making a highlight play in his extremely limited playing time (about 6.2 minutes per game), I can’t help but feel all happy and tingly inside.
If you would be so kind as to pause the video at the 0:06 mark…I have a few things I would like to point out.
1. Jamaal Tinsley is an able-bodied NBA roleplayer running point guard for a team vying for the last playoff spot in the Western Conference. All of this at the ripe old age of 57! (give or take)
2. Take a look at where Jeremy Evans (bottom of the screen) is located on the court as Tinsley is about to release the alley-oop. That’s almost the Stephon Marbury Zone, or for those who don’t know, a spot deep behind the three-point line where Stephon Marbury would feel the need to dribble to and launch an ill-advised three ball that would either: a) miss horribly, or b) swish perfectly. There are no other options, I have done extensive research.
3. You can press play now. This is just an awesome play all-around.
4. THREE DEGREES OF SEPARATION BETWEEN JAMAAL TINSLEY AND JEREMY EVANS FEATURING FRED JONES: Jamaal Tinsley was a member of the 2004-05 Indiana Pacers, most famous for the ‘Malice at the Palace’ brawl. Fred Jones was also a member of that same 2004-05 Indiana Pacers team, garnering fame for being the only Pacers player to actually get punched in the head by a fan in the crowd that terrible night (sorry Fred…). That is, until Stephen Jackson AKA Stak 5 the Hood King saved the day. Fred Jones was the 2004 Slam Dunk champion. Jeremy Evans was the 2012 Slam Dunk champion. Jeremy Evans currently plays for the Utah Jazz. Jamaal Tinsley currently plays for the Utah Jazz. BOOM.
With a 112-102 win over the Portland Trailblazers, the Jazz have extended their lead over the Lakers for the 8-seed in the Western Conference by 1/2 a game. The Jazz own the tiebreaker over the Lakers, so they would get the playoff nod over Los Angeles should they have identical records at the end of the season. Jamaal Tinsley had 5 assists in 19 minutes off the bench, one of which was to Jeremy Evans for his only score of the game in just 3 minutes of play.
It’s always nice to see a player return to his former stomping grounds and get showered with praise and applause rather than the usual boos and vitriol. I guess that’s what happens when you leave a team gracefully instead of leaving after you create an endless media shit-storm for months on end coughDwightHowardcough or forcefully demand a trade because you’re looking to be in a bigger market coughCarmeloAnthonycough. Tonight Jose Calderon returned to the Air Canada Center in Toronto for the first time since he was traded to Detroit as a part of the Rudy Gay deal and received both a standing ovation and a video tribute on the big screen. People tend to forget that Calderon played the first 7 1/2 years of his NBA career in Toronto with some success, including two playoff appearances in 2006-07 and 2007-08, a 90-50-40 season in 2007-08**, and the all-time single season record for free throw percentage in 2008-09 (98.1%). The reception by the Toronto fans was completely warranted.
** Kevin Durant currently has a realistic chance of a 90-50-40 season, which is when a player shoots at least 90% from the free throw line, 50% from the field, and 40% from three for a single season. Because of this, it’s frequently mentioned by basketball writers and commentators that the only players to ever have done this are Larry Bird (twice), Mark Price, Reggie Miller, Steve Nash (four times), and Dirk Nowitzki. Jose Calderon technically had a 90-50-40 season in 2007-08 as I mentioned before, but fell 16 free throws short of officially qualifying for the honors. Unfortunately, Calderon shot 49.7% from the field in 2008-09 and missed out on the honors once more by mere percentage points, as apparently the NBA is not an elementary school math teacher and rounding up decimals is frowned upon. Well, this is a serious rant. /cool story bro
The most memorable moment of Calderon’s return happened after the second quarter ended when the two teams entered their respective locker rooms for halftime. Apparently the tunnel of the Air Canada Center seemed all-too-familiar, as Calderon started to enter the locker room with his former team instead of with the visiting Pistons. His reaction to it is great, but his reaction after realizing that it was caught on film is even better. Having walked into the completely wrong class room more than once before, I think I can sympathize with Calderon. All you can do is just casually pretend you’re texting, walk out of the class, run as fast as you can to get off-campus, and skip all of your classes for the next week in hopes of not being recognized by anyone within a 10-mile radius — I mean, or laugh it off. That works. Good job, Jose.
Kevin Durant visited the Louisville Cardinals women’s team in the locker room after their win over Baylor
The Louisville Cardinals women’s team had a special guest in the locker room after they pulled off a miraculous upset against Brittney Griner and the Baylor Bears, ruining nearly all seven of the world’s NCAA Women’s Tournament brackets. Kevin Durant showed up to congratulate the Lady Cardinals on their victory, and in the midst of several phones being ripped out of pockets to snap future profile pictures, KD’s buddy was accidentally punched by a Louisville player trying to throw her arms around the Oklahoma City Thunder star player. I’m not sure what would hurt more, that dude’s jaw after being punched by one of the Louisville players, or Hasheem Thabeet and Jeremy Lamb’s pride after being completely neglected in the background like they were Joey Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick watching Justin Timberlake sign autographs.
Let me first make it clear, I am a huge Andre Drummond fan. Many critics questioned his efforts at UConn (he was a sure-fire one-and-done), but he was still playing for my favorite college team with a bunch of other players I enjoyed watching (Lamb, Napier, etc), regardless of the disappointing end to their season. Most NBA Draft analysts touted him as the lottery pick with the most bust potential, even though a player with his combination of size and athleticism hadn’t really been seen since the likes of Amar’e Stoudemire. It was hard not to fall into the pitfall of ESPN player projections, but even harder not to root for the guy after seeing him cry tears of joy the moment he found out he was about to live out his dream. Or maybe it was sadness for having to play for the Pistons…I think it’s the former though.
In limited action, Drummond has proven himself to be one of the better rookies selected in last year’s draft. In under 20 minutes per game, Drummond is averaging 7.5 PPG (60% FG), 7.7 RPG, and 1.7 BPG, which comes out to roughly 13.7 PPG, 13.8 RPG, and 3.0 BPG per 36 minutes. The Detroit big man returned to play on Friday after missing 22 games with a stress fracture in his back and Pistons head coach Lawrence Frank chose to immediately plug Drummond into the starting lineup for the first time this season. He finished with 17 pts (8-10 FG), 4 reb, and 2 blk in his first career start, reminding Detroit fans that the future may be brighter than the time they chose to shell out something like $900 million on Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva to be the nucleus of the team. Unfortunately though, Drummond’s game has one glaring weakness: free throw shooting.
Drummond is currently shooting 35% from the charity stripe, and although the misses above are just regular old misses that hurt his percentage all the same, two consecutive airballs just look really, really bad. Yeesh, that was bad. At least Drummond should know what to focus his off-season workouts around besides developing a better post game, and he better do it fast before teams start employing the inevitable Hack-A-Drummond. Let’s get that percentage to an ice-in-the-veins 50% next season, Andre.
Valanciunas looks like he noticed his drunk friend Amir stumbling out of the bar to yell at his ex-girlfriend across the street so he jogs over and puts his arm around him. “It’s alright buddy, I know she’s a…hey wait, let’s go set a screen on this guy.” I’m not sure what’s stranger: the double screen itself, or the fact that DeMar DeRozan was freed up for an open jumper by it and chose to pass it up. I mean, Amir and Jonas are just two bros locked in an embrace, having a good time and averting defenders like an impregnable black and white cookie. How do you pass up an opportunity like that? Not only do they set one screen, but once they realize that DeRozan didn’t capitalize off of their bromantic screen, their arms remain locked and they simply move on to the next player in their direct line of sight. Of course that failed too, but I’m sure it was more of a bonding experience than an actual basketball tactic.
I can’t really tell if this was something that coach Duane Casey would even possibly consider drawing up in the locker room as an offensive strategy, but if it continues then I’m sure the NBA will begin enforcing some idiotic rule against it. Bronas Valanciunas finished with 18 pts and 10 reb, while his main man Amir Johnson put up 8 pts and 12 reb in a 109-92 loss to the Washington Wizards.
Players like Russell Westbrook and Joakim Noah have made the emphatic post-score celebration commonplace, and with referees often in the thick of the action I have often wondered how one them hasn’t had the misfortune of ending up in the crosshairs of a celebratory fist pump. That ended today. Carlos Boozer — who happens to yell, “AND 1!!!!!” after any Bulls shot taken within a 10-foot vicinity of the basket — had himself a little too jacked up after an and-1, as he wound up and accidentally falcon punched referee Danny Crawford directly en los cojones. Not quite a Nicolas Batum, but…ouch.
Danny Crawford — not to be confused with Joey Crawford, who is fully deserving of getting punched in the liver — chose to take the high road and laughed off the incident. Ironically, a player opposing the Dallas Mavericks was the one to finally hit Danny Crawford with a haymaker. Dallas has accumulated a 2-16 record in games reffed by Crawford, and in the past the referee has been accused of calling a disproportionate amount of fouls against the Mavericks in those playoff games. I’m sure Mark Cuban will love the fact that he gets fined for complaining about Danny Crawford, while Carlos Boozer sends a full-force closed fist into his groin and won’t suffer any punishment. Booz really dodged a bullet there.
At some point prior to one of the most epic string of tweets I have ever seen, Metta World Peace decided to record himself coming out of knee surgery and send it to Comedy Central. Although I’m always down to watch any video of Metta World Peace taking part in Metta World Peace-y antics, the production value of this specific video (subtitles, sound effects, intro and outro graphics, etc) leads me to believe that this specific moment in time was more premeditated than spontaneous. As the Deadspin link above alludes to, it’ll probably be the precursor to more collaborative content between Metta and Comedy Central, which I can’t say I am too opposed to at all. More Metta plz.
Regardless if this was planned or not, an unscripted Metta World Peace high as balls off anesthesia theorizing that hospital workers party in the operation room in addition to performing surgery there is pure gold. I love this man. Within seconds of coming back to reality, he already thinks he’s drunk and is asking about the next party. He sounds like a 9th grader who had one too many Natty Light’s in his friend’s basement. Elbow whoever you want Metta, you’re just a misunderstood dude looking to have a good time.
btw. surgery went well. i was so out of it when i woke up as yal saw on the comedy central skit. ill keep yal updated with videos—
Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) March 30, 2013